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Stupid Sidekick Union (transcript)
Episode: Stupid Sidekick Union episode begins at the Ren & Stimpy Show studio. Stimpy is having coffee and canned laughter is heard in the background. Ren: STIIIIIMPY! STIMPY! You've been using my Robert Goulet party wig as a coffee filter again, haven't you?! has on a black wig with a pile of coffee grounds on top of it. The audience laughs. Stimpy: Duhhh, sure thing, Ren! eats a coffee, Ren was about to slap Stimpy. Then the phone was ringing and Ren calls at the phone. Ren: Hello. Ah, it's for you, steupid. Stimpy: Oh Joyyy! Ren: Uh uh uh uh! You'll pass the phoney around here. Stimpy: I do. Ren: That's right and don't you forget it. was handed a dollar to Ren. Stimpy was putting at the phone on his head. Stimpy: Duhhh, hello! phone was Talk-fasting voice then Stimpy was shocked and he angers put the phone on his ear and he gets tough. Stimpy: Come again? Uh-huh? Yeah? RIGHT! Absoutively. Ren: Well, time's up! Let's see... where were we? Oh yeah! was about to slap Stimpy and Stimpy slaps at Ren's hand. Stimpy: Not today, buddy. will stop. Stimpy: I'll be doing your only striking around here. That was the union! Local 6 and seven to eighths and we're on a walkout. Ren: Organize ignorance, eh? walks off. Ren: Where are we going? I am not done written it. walks to the locker. Ren: Quit again, are ya? What are ya gonna do? Go work for Hanna Barbera? opens the locker. Ren: That's okay, buddy. I forgive ya. You can come back to work now. Stimpy: You can stick it! I'm on strike! put his hat on and see the front side sign "Strike" and the back side sign "Ren Stinks!", Ren was confused. Stimpy: And I'm not coming back, see? Till" you sign this contract! gives a contract to Ren. Stimpy walks off. Ren: "Mr. Hoek, you the foulness smacker. Must have promission to Mr. Cat. Smacky. Before the act of smacking COMMANDSESS"? WHAT?!? "My weekly bathroom primprages"? Stimpy: That's right and STOP CRYING! You're smoothing the crayon. Ren: The next thing I know, you wanna be paid! You want me to sign it? will rip the contract into a million pieces and throws up in the air. Ren: There, all signed! Oh, and before you go... that's studio proprerty! pulls out of Stimpy's nose. Ren: Don't let the door touches your butt! slams the door at Stimpy's butt. Cuts to Mail. Mail door opens, Ren's eyes was showing. Ren: You'll be back! door closed and then Mail door opens again, Ren's mouth was showing. Ren: You owe your own place before ya know! door closed. Fades to Ren was watching at Stimpy was having a front sign "Strike" and a back sign "Ren Unfair" and Stimpy raspberries at Ren and Ren closes the windowshade and walks to the phone and numbers it. Ren: Hello, is that a scab sidekick union? Yeah, since I was a writing right over. Someone with experience. his hands Well, that's that. heard the doorbell sound effect and he stops at the door and he opens to see Tex. Ren was upset. Tex: Howdy, Sheriff! his head was waving his hand at Ren. Tex: Pretty boy, ay? throws a brick on Tex's head. Stimpy: offscreen Scaaaab! has a wood has the shape on his head. Tex: Got a wood on my head. Ren: Hey, you're not a union, are ya? Tex: spits Heck no, boy! I ain't no rangy! Did I tell ya about my wood head? Ren: Well, your steupid eediot enough. Tex: Enough bothering, let's get cominace to sidekicking! I'm going to up there and brought some coveries. slams the door and the Show called "The Ren & Tex Show". Tex was sitting on the wood and put a marshmallow on the roasted fire. Ren: Hey, what's the big idea starting a campfire in my living room! Tex: FIRE!! It was a chief boys right the school down against Sheriff! Ren: Back off! audience laughs offscreen. Ren: Now listen, I don't think tha- put his hand and Ren's mouth. Tex: Shhhh! sees the floor and pop out the flag on his butt. Tex: STAMPEDE!!! Ren: Get off, Texas! This ain't no western. I ain't no sheriff and they're ain't no stampe- the cows are running over Ren. Tex shows the horseshoes on Ren's butt. Tex: What luck? This sheriff got no bread! audience laughs offscreen. Tex puts the A stamp on his fire, Tex blows out the fire and Tex streams the A stamp on Ren's butt and Ren screams painly. The audience laughs offscreen. Fades to Stimpy has a sign "Unfair to Idiots". Stimpy: Awaken, brothers of stupidity join the struggle of the ignorant. throws Tex out of the stage. Tex: Got a wood in my head. Stimpy: Well then, get some signs of your bricks, brother. Ren: Scab union, I need another replacement. No, send it all over. I'll pick my own scabs from now on. has A stamp on his butt and looks at the "Sidekick Casting Call Scabs Only!!!" sign. [Tex has a brick sign said "Idiot Strike" and Stimpy was still on strike. Stimpy: Divided will standed, united we sit! Hey hey, ho ho, Ol' Ren Hoek has got to go! will go on a Sidekick Casting Call. Stimpy: offscreen Hey hey, ho ho, Ol' Ren Hoek has got to go! throws the brick at Marvin. Other idiot friends will go to Sidekick Casting Call. Stimpy: offscreen Scaaaab! Ren: Can't you read? points the sign "Wieners need not apply" Wieners sees the sign and he felt sad and he hops away. Ren: Alright, next! Polly: I'm Polly the Polyp and I'm benign! Ren: offscreen Yeah, yeah, great kid, Next! Barney Rubble Expy: Heh heh heh, heh heh heh... Ren: offscreen Been done, Next! Hillbilly: But I really want to di-rect. presses the buzzer button. Ren: Next! runs to Sidekick Casting call and stops at Ren. Ren: nervously, gulps Eh... You uh, have any showbiz experience? has a jack in a box it says "S" on it and put the skeleton hand on the cranker. Ren: I'm sorry, I love to get in a job but you have to fit into this costume. grabs Stimpy's costume and tears to costume and he puts on. Ren: giggles You are a perfect fit, you got the job. smiles at Ren. The show is called "The Ren & Baboon Show". Skeleton and the blood was on his sofa. Ren: scared Who left the beef carcasses on my sofa? gulps This really makes me mad. audience laughs offscreen. Ren: Hey, baboon? comes up and stops at Ren. Ren: You've really made me angry this time. was growling by madness. Ren: I'm gonna have to hit ya. You... steupid.. slaps on Baboon's nose and Baboon was getting furious and he growls ferocious. Cuts to Studio A, Baboon was attacking and scratching at Ren offscreen. Ren: offscreen Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! OH! OW!!! was injured. He pressed the button for another sidekick. Ren: Next... comes in. Ren: What's your story? Thespian: I am a worm class, Thespian! Oh for musses of fire will be sent to the frightest heaven of a nation. Ren: So... can you do Stimpy? Thesipian: I have performed Stimpy for the queen! Ren: Well, you're the last affracate. So, you're hired, Dimbag. Stimpy: And then he doesn't private, we're ask for a really super nicely. Officeman: Hungins to good for him! Director: offscreen Here in 3... 2... Ren: Boy, I'm sure am thirsty. will hold the water at Ren. Thesipian: Duhhh, here is a spoiled oil milk master, Hoek. Ren: NO, you EEDIOT! slaps his glass off. Ren: You don't tell me what it is! I'm supposed to drink it and warth! Ya blew it again, moron! Thesipian: I am an actor! Ren: Well, there's just no place for actors in television! So beat it, shakespare! Thesipian: Philistine dog. pulls off of Stimpy's nose and walks off. Ren: Alright, EVERYBODY OUT! goes out of Studio A. Ren: I don't need any sidekicks! I'll do the show myself! I am the star! looks at Stimpy as a women clapping his hands. Stimpy: voice Oh, Mr. hoek! I'm your biggest fan! Ren: Oh yeah? Stimpy: voice They are sent your Ahem! voice They are sent your husband but I said no, he was never was been and always will be. So how about the autograph? Ren: Well, since you put it that way... shocked at Contract scribbling it up. Ren was looking at Stimpy dress as a women. Ren smiles grinly. Ren: Sure, I'll sign your book. writes "George Washington" on the contract. Ren: Here ya go.... chuckles Little girl. Stimpy: high voice Thank you, Mr. Hoek! runs off and normal laughs without his hair and puts hair on the ground. Ren: Loser. to Daily Vilify Magazine "First President Endurses Union Contract Death Rumors False". Cuts to "Stupid sidekicks back to work. Biggest concessions ever". Fades to Studio A. Ren: offscreen Stimpy!! audience laughs offscreen. Ren: Stimpy! You've been shiny shoes with my dinosaur autograph to bacon, haven't you!? has a hair with coffee was watering. The audience laughs offscreen. Stimpy: Yeah? So, What are you gonna do? was about to punch Stimpy. Stimpy: Ahem! Ren? was holding a contract. Ren: sighs May I please smack you, Mr. Stimpy, sir? Stimpy: Yes, you may. will taking a dollar to Stimpy and he slaps at Stimpy. The audience laughs offscreen. Ren: May I slap you silly, Mr. Stimpy!? was holding the overtime paper. Stimpy: It's overtime, baby. smacks Stimpy again. Stimpy: Triple time. will taking a dollar to Stimpy and he smacks Stimpy again. The audience laughs offscreen. Stimpy: Gold and triple overtime. smacks Stimpy again and the whole money was appearing on the background. The audience was laughing offscreen. Stimpy: Double triple gold overy eye. iris was closing completely and fades The Ren & Stimpy Show Logo has replaced The Stimpy & Ren Show and the few seconds, the TV screen turns off at the end of the episode. Category:Episode Transcripts